Sex Therapy for Couples

Sex therapy is talk therapy that focuses specifically on sexuality, sexual concerns, and the ways they interact with your relationship, body, experiences, beliefs, and expectations.

And yes, we really do just talk. There is no sexual contact, touching, nudity, or physical examination in sex therapy. Depending on what brings you in, we might talk about desire, pleasure, arousal, orgasm, sexual pain, anxiety, communication, expectations, or how your sexual relationship has changed over time.

Because I’m both a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, I’m also paying attention to what’s happening in your relationship, not just the sexual concern itself.

Couples come to sex therapy for all kinds of reasons. Some are dealing with a specific sexual concern, while others simply know that this part of their relationship isn’t working the way they want it to.

I commonly work with couples around differences in sexual desire or frequency, difficulty with arousal or orgasm, painful sex and its impact on the relationship, sexual anxiety or shame, avoidance, difficulty communicating about sex, differences in wants or expectations, religious or cultural messages about sexuality, and feeling sexually disconnected after years together.

Sex therapy can also be a place to figure out what a mutually satisfying sexual relationship actually looks like for the two of you.

Not at all. You don’t need a diagnosis or a major sexual dysfunction to benefit from sex therapy.

Some couples come because sex has become a source of conflict or disconnection. Others want to communicate more comfortably, understand differences in desire, experience more pleasure, navigate changes in their bodies or relationship, or build a sexual relationship that works better for both partners.

You’re allowed to want something to be better, not just less bad.

Sex therapy itself can be provided to individuals or couples. My practice, however, is focused almost exclusively on couples, particularly when relationship and sexual concerns overlap.

I occasionally work individually with women around sexual concerns, usually when they are already working with a couples therapist who refers them to me for specialized sex therapy. I don’t maintain a general individual-therapy caseload.

If you’re not sure whether what you’re looking for fits the work I do, that’s something we can figure out during a consultation.

That is extremely normal. Most people were not exactly given years of practice having thoughtful, direct conversations about sex. 😆

You don’t need to know the “right” terminology or explain everything perfectly. You can say, “I don’t know how to talk about this,” “This is awkward,” or even “I have no idea what to call this.” We’ll figure it out from there.

Sex is a normal part of my work, so topics that may feel incredibly vulnerable or unusual to you are things I’m comfortable discussing directly and without judgment.

No. The goal of sex therapy is not to convince either partner to have more sex, perform particular sexual activities, or override their own boundaries.

We may talk honestly about differences between you, including places where your wants, boundaries, expectations, or definitions of a satisfying sexual relationship don’t match. That can sometimes be challenging work. But the goal isn’t for one partner to “win.” It’s to understand what’s happening and help you build a sexual relationship that respects both people.

Absolutely. I have extensive experience working with religiously conservative and faith-based couples, including LDS couples, mixed-faith couples, and people whose beliefs about sexuality are changing.

I’m not here to decide what your sexual values should be. We can explore the ways religious teachings, family messages, culture, personal beliefs, and past experiences have shaped your sexuality while leaving room for you to decide what fits your relationship and values now.

Sex therapy does not require adopting someone else’s definition of a healthy sexual relationship.

Sex therapy is a specialty, so I recommend looking beyond whether a therapist simply says they’re comfortable talking about sex. Look for specialized education, training, and supervised clinical experience in human sexuality and sex therapy.

I’m an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, which requires advanced education, training, and supervised clinical experience specifically in this area. I’m also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Gottman Method Level 3 Trained, which is especially useful because I work primarily with couples.

Training matters, but fit matters too. You should be able to talk openly with your therapist, ask questions, and feel that they can respect your values while also helping you have the conversations you may have been avoiding.

Yes. I offer in-person sex therapy at my office in Centennial, Colorado, serving the Denver metro area.

I also offer online sessions, so living farther from Centennial doesn’t necessarily mean we can’t work together.

You don’t need to live in Denver to work with me. I provide online sex therapy for clients who are physically located in Colorado, Texas, Utah, Washington, or Idaho at the time of their session.

That means couples throughout those states can work with me without needing to live near a sex therapist or add a long drive to their schedules.