Marriage Counseling & Sex Therapy in Hawaii

Marriage counseling gives us a place to slow down what is happening between you and look more closely at the parts of your relationship that aren’t working.

That might include recurring conflict, communication problems, emotional distance, resentment, differences in needs or expectations, difficulty making decisions together, or feeling more like roommates than partners.

My approach is active and practical. I’ll ask questions, point out things I notice, slow you down when a conversation starts going sideways, and help you practice doing something different together. I draw heavily from the Gottman Method and the Developmental Model of Couples Therapy, while also paying attention to each partner’s history, experiences, values, and individual differences.

Yes. I offer online premarital counseling for couples throughout Hawaii. Premarital therapy can include communication and conflict, family expectations, finances, faith and values, roles and responsibilities, and preparing for your sexual relationship. I especially enjoy helping couples have honest conversations about sex before marriage, including couples from LDS and other religious backgrounds where sexuality may not have been something they learned to discuss openly.

There’s a lot of overlap, especially in my practice.

Marriage counseling may focus broadly on communication, conflict, connection, decision-making, emotional intimacy, and other parts of your relationship. Sex therapy gives us additional specialized training and tools for addressing sexual concerns such as differences in desire, arousal or orgasm difficulties, painful sex, sexual anxiety or shame, sexual communication, pleasure, and changes in your sexual relationship over time.

As an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and LMFT, I can work with both at the same time. We don’t have to pretend the relationship problem and the sexual problem exist in separate little boxes.

That is completely okay. You don't need to show up knowing the right terminology or ready to tell me everything in the first 15 minutes.

I talk about sex for a living, so topics that may feel awkward or vulnerable to you aren't unusual or uncomfortable for me. We can talk directly about bodies, desire, pleasure, sexual functioning, expectations, disappointment, and the things you may have spent years carefully avoiding talking about with each other.

And yes, sex therapy is still talk therapy. There is no sexual touching, activity, or physical examination during sessions.

Absolutely. You do not need to wait until someone is considering divorce to come to marriage counseling.

Some couples come in because they’re fighting constantly or feel profoundly disconnected. Others basically like their relationship but recognize that something could be better. Maybe communication has gotten harder, sex has changed, parenting has taken over, or you’ve realized there are conversations you keep postponing.

Coming in earlier can give us more room to work on those things before years of frustration pile up.

That’s pretty common. Both of you don't have to arrive equally enthusiastic about therapy.

I do want both partners willing to participate honestly enough for us to work together. Part of my job is to understand the relationship from both perspectives, not convince one person that the other person is right.

If one of you is unsure about therapy itself, the free 15-minute consultation is also a chance for both of you to meet me, ask questions, and decide whether my approach feels like a reasonable fit before committing to a first session.

Yes. I have extensive experience working with couples from religiously conservative and faith-based backgrounds, including couples whose religious beliefs strongly influence their expectations around marriage, family, and sexuality.

Faith can intersect with marriage expectations, family relationships, parenting, sexuality, gender roles, community, identity, and decisions about the future. Couples may share the same beliefs, practice their faith differently, or be navigating significant differences in belief.

My role isn't to tell either of you what you should believe or what your relationship should look like. We can make room for faith and values in therapy while also making room for differences between partners.

Look beyond whether a therapist simply lists “couples” or “relationships” among the many things they treat. Couples therapy is a specialty, and sex therapy requires additional specialized training.

I’d look at the therapist’s training and experience working specifically with couples, their approach to relationship therapy, and whether they have appropriate training for any sexual concerns you want to address. Most importantly, both partners should feel that the therapist can understand their perspectives without becoming one partner’s advocate against the other.

I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Hawaii, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and Gottman Method Level 3 Trained. My practice is focused on couples.

Yes. I provide online marriage counseling and sex therapy throughout Hawaii, from Colorado so my session times are based on MST.

Possibly. Where you are physically located at the time of your therapy session matters because therapists have to follow licensing requirements for the state where the client is located.

In addition to Hawaii, I’m licensed as an LMFT in Colorado, Utah, Texas, Washington, and Idaho. If you and your partner will be joining sessions from different states, we can talk during your consultation about whether I’m able to work with both of you based on where each person will be located.